According to Google Trend Data, the search term anxious Christmas has received a 7300% uplift within the past month. What’s more, the question what is my love language? has received a 283.33% increase. With 5 weeks to go until Christmas day, the run up is often full of excitement however, for some the pressure to financially commit to plans, purchase gifts and attend several social events in such a small-time frame, can make its run up an anxious one.
Here, we worked with Emily Carr at CreateGiftLove to present how to determine your love language and how it can help you get through the festive season.
Words of Affirmation
As the name suggests, if your love language is words of affirmation, then you appreciate and hold on to verbal reassurance, expressions of love and praise. You benefit from talking about your feelings and gain a sense of ease when those you trust speak words of assurance.
‘If you recognise yourself within words of affirmation, remember that you don’t need to rely on those around you to ease any tension surrounding the festive season’, says Carr. ‘Positive self-talk goes a long way. Create an affirmation and say it to yourself several times a day. Have it written on an object such as a keyring so that every time you see it, you’re reminded of that affirmation. Getting into the habit of using affirmations with breathwork can work to lower cortisol (the stress hormone) and ease anxiety.’
‘A person who relates to the love language of quality time considers time to be the most valuable form of currencies. They like to feel like the time given to them makes them a priority and special.’
‘A person whose love language values time may still feel nervous with a packed social calendar, a list of gifts to purchase and the chance of playing host. Appreciate that it’s how you spend your time with loved ones and not the time itself. If the thought of drunken nights out is making you nervous, take a rain check and organise a night in. Remember, carve out time for yourself to take a break and recalibrate. If the only gift presents are giving you is the stress of a financial burden, suggest to loved ones that this year, you are skipping gifts in favour of activities that you can partake in together, spending quality time.’
Acts of Service
‘A person whose love language is acts of service appreciates their loved one helping them with tasks that they can tick off their to do lists, fixing appliances that may have broken or partaking in tasks that work to relax them overall such as a massage.
If your festive to do list is getting longer by the day, don’t feel afraid to delegate tasks to those around you, whether it be picking up your click and collect with the groceries or completing ‘house admin’ such as cleaning before the decorations go up. Be clear with them that for you, this is not just a mundane task, but a means that leads you to feeling supported and eases the tension at this time of year’.
‘A person whose love language is receiving gifts is far from materialistic or shallow as often, it’s not the price tag of the gift that matters but the thought that has gone into it’, says Carr.
‘Gift giving is often one of the most common stress inducing aspects of Christmas as not only can it be costly, but it also requires a lot of thought and effort. If the cost and time involved in purchasing gifts is causing you anxiety, set a gift budget with those around you and decide that you will be laying focus on thoughtful gifts that are not expensive. Personalised gifts are perfect in this scenario, as well as the likes of thoughtful framed photographs or personalised baubles.’
‘You may be connected to those around you through What’s app and social media, but a person whose love language is physical touch craves real life contact.’
‘If waking up to yet another Whats App Group, DM or missed call fuels your anxiety, don’t be afraid to hit the mute button. Decide on one time of day where you will reply, and always make real life meet ups the priority and way that you ‘properly’ catch up with your loved ones.’