How to Build Intimacy with Your Partner in Everyday Life

Whether watching a much-loved movie or tucking into a takeaway, couples often spend their evenings together on the sofa.

But just because a couple is sitting together and sharing a sofa doesn’t mean they are feeling connected or engaging with each other. In fact, the sofa experts at DFS spotted that searches for ‘how to create intimacy’ have increased by 100% in the past year.

That’s why DFS has teamed up with body language expert Adrianne Carter to share four simple tips for creating more intimacy in your relationship when lounging together.

1. Understand what your current sitting position might say about your relationship

There are a number of common sitting positions for couples, which may indicate different things about that relationship.

One common sitting position that can often be seen as a sign of little intimacy, is the Big Divide. This seating position is designed around distance, with each person taking their space at opposite ends of the sofa – or on their own sofas completely! 

If you often find yourself sitting like this with your partner, think about why. Is it because you want to avoid physical touch or eye contact? Is it because you feel out of touch with your partner? Or is it simply because you are so comfortable in your long-term relationship?

Asking these questions will help you to understand if the distance is simply a result of wanting the best spot for watching TV, or something a little more serious that you need to pay attention to.

2. Close the distance

When it comes to creating more intimacy when sitting with your partner, the first step is simple. Close the physical distance between you both by sitting closer to your partner than you usually would at the start of the evening or budging up to them while already relaxing.

At first, this might feel a little awkward, especially if you both usually have your own designated spots on the sofa. But reducing the space between you and your partner will show that you want to be and feel closer to them.  

3. Show your interest

Body language and non-verbal cues are key when it comes to engaging with and connecting to your partner

If you are in the habit of sitting separately, give your partner a genuine smile and show you want to be physically close to them with signals such as open arms or patting the spot on the sofa next to you.

If you want to talk to your partner, then sit at an angle to face them, keep your body language open by uncrossing your arms, and make eye contact. This will show your partner they have your full attention, encouraging them to chat and making them feel appreciated.

Remember that if you are trying to create intimacy with your partner, going on your phone mid-conversation or while encouraging them to sit with you is a no-no.

4. Use the power of touch

When it comes to sending signals that you want to be more intimate with them, there is nothing more powerful than physical touch.

A simple touch on your partner’s leg or draping your arm around them is a meaningful way to show your closeness, interest, and attraction to them.

If you have previously been more physically intimate with or close to your partner, think about how you used to sit together and try to recreate this position. This will help your partner feel more comfortable and relaxed.

And if you’re looking to add a bit of spice to your physical connection, consider exploring new avenues of pleasure. Maybe surprise your partner with a thoughtful gesture, like a romantic massage or, for a playful twist, you could even buy a dildo from

So there you have it, four easy ways to switch up your sitting position and feel closer to your partner. To find the perfect sofa for lounging with your loved one, visit the DFS website.

Anabel Cooper

Anabel is a graduate of King’s College London and upon graduating, she set out on a journey to inspire and empower women through her words. Besides working as a digital marketing expert, Anabel is a freelance copywriter.