We’re dreaming of…a day out with Mr Date Man
There’s a subtle difference between a date and a day out. Dates are for solidifying first impressions, for working out if you were right to think he was cute when you spotted him across the crowded dancefloor last week. Days out are for when you’ve confirmed that yes, he’s good enough company to warrant spending an entire day with rather than just an hour or two of a Friday night.
The thing is, over the years we’ve been given more dating advice than we’ve bought red lipsticks, but no one’s ever thought to advise us on how to handle the first day out. So, taking matters in to our own hands we’ve put together our thoughts on embarking upon a first day out so successful there’s guaranteed to be a second.
Go it alone
Take him, obviously, but don’t make it a group activity. If you’re doing it because you’re a bit shy and are hoping a third wheel might ease any potential awkward silences all you’re really doing is prolonging the agony: you’ll have to be alone just the two of you at some point. Anyway, those getting-to-know-you, coyly flirtatious conversations can be cringe-worthy enough as it is without the added pressure of your BFF listening in.
Find common ignorance
Ok, so it might go against all accepted intelligence on attracting your prince charming, but finding common ground can be dangerous. You both like horses so have planned a day at the races. So far so simple. However, you know that Silviniaco Conti is a red hot favourite and, competitive spirit ignited, tell Mr Date Man so. Despite being a big fan of the races himself, he didn’t know this gem of information. You’ll very quickly have a Mr Bruised Ego on your hands. A much better idea is to pick a day out that’s new to both of you. You can learn together; it’ll be a bonding experience. (Aw, sweet!)
Be honest from the start
A bit of compromise can smooth out a mini-crisis but can make for a long-term catastrophe. If you start the relationship happily going along with his plan to go to the zoo even though you hate animals it’s only a matter of time before your decision to be polite and obliging comes back to bite you. If you’re happy with a Jane Austen style well mannered, voiceless relationship then by all means compromise away, but if you don’t want to be visiting the zoo for every future anniversary it’s worth being honest from the start.
Think about the travelling / talking time ratio
A proper ‘day out’ generally denotes a fair amount of travelling – actively going somewhere for the day. It’s vitally important to keep this in mind when planning a successful day out as the odds are that you’ll spend more time travelling to the races than you spend actually watching horses and drinking champagne. That four hour journey can be a torturous way of finding out that Mr Date Man only has two hours worth of conversation in him.
It’s OK to say goodbye
Just because you’ve embarked upon one day out, it doesn’t mean you have to start making wedding plans. This big day is very different to that big day. If the company didn’t quite live up to expectations it’s ok to let him go. Either way you got to see new places and experience new things, and at the end of the day that’s what matters most.