Sense & Sensibility: Is He Flirting or Just Being Friendly?

Everyday, without fail, he walks by your desk and says hello. His tone is ever cheerful and his smile is always bright. In the beginning, you think he’s just being friendly but after a while of consistent greetings, you begin to wonder – is he flirting with me?

That blushing, those butterflies! There’s no denying the way you feel about him, but can he deny the way he feels about you? Unless someone invents a mind reading machine, we as ordinary humans are destined to roam the dating world, bumbling and stumbling through embarrassing introductions and awkward encounters as if we are trying to grasp for something tangible in a pitch black room. Fortunately, mankind’s most ordinary abilities can be our greatest superpower – at least with decoding the male species. If you’re ever metaphorically stuck in the dark again and blindly trying to figure out a guy’s intentions, just rely on your five senses.

1) Sight

Watch the body language. Whether it is a slight smile or a steady eye contact, a person’s body language explains an incredible amount about their mood and character. Just learning how to pick up on certain cues enables you to read the other person like an open book. For example, his physical presence indicates his intentions. How far is he standing to you? Or is he leaning in? The closer you two are, the more intimate he’s trying make you feel. Does he cross his arms or break eye contact often to look elsewhere? This is a clear sign of lack of interest.

2) Hearing

Does his voice raise in cheeriness when conversation is initiate? Does he ever compliment you out of the blue? Great! Now perk those ears up and listen up. Just because he says something nice doesn’t necessarily mean he’s into you. Check around for his behavior with other people. If he’s just as nice to you as he is with your nameless coworker, then chances are that is his normal behavior. However, if he’s the shy, introverted type and signals you out to say hello – then don’t brush it off because that could just be his most courageous attempt to flirt with you.

3) Touch

The both of you are wildly laughing at this raunchy joke you just cracked, and then all of a sudden he throws his arm around and pats you on the back. Does he consider you a romantic love interest? Maybe. Does he feel comfortable around you? Definitely. This is a clear sign of friendship, but what if you’re looking for more? Be aware of his physical contact. While a pat on the back is for old buds, a gentle touch of his hand over yours suggests affection. Look out for that lingering hug or embrace. What the eyes can’t see, the heart just feels

4) Taste

More often than not, females don’t pick up on the small things that a guy does because we’re more in tune to the bigger and flashier stunts a guy needs to pull off to win a girl’s heart. With that being said, these last two senses are dedicated to the small but sweet deeds can sometimes go unnoticed. Long ago when you two first met, you mentioned off-handedly your favorite type of food or drink to him. Whilst you forgot that conversation, here in the present he offers you your beloved brand of gum and brings you a cup of Starbucks without asking about your order. While it maybe a coincidence, it is just as likely he’s attempting to get on your good side.

5) Smell

A spritz here and a spritz there. Your perfume is part of your morning routine. Therefore, it’s such a pleasant surprise whenever someone notices your scent. Your perfume is personal and any guy who compliments it means he’s willing to openly admit that he checked you out. It’s always difficult to tell if a guy is flirting or just being friendly, but hopefully with these tips, we at Your Coffee Break may just have knocked some sense (or 5) into you.

Loraine Ong

Loraine is educated in Paris, and currently living in Lebanon. She holds a passion for international relations and sharing with others what she’s learned abroad. Marketing, PR, and Social Media are Loraine’s specialties but she loves to write as well!


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