Ending a relationship is never easy, whether it was your decision, the other’s person or mutual. Dealing with painful emotions and having a hard period is a normal process for people who just experienced this situation. Wrath, sadness, pain, anger, having doubts, some loss of appetite, or the opposite, can be the result of a breakup.
Even though the roller coaster of emotions is inevitable, working on dissolving it and recovering from the pain is crucial. You can’t live sad forever or stay stuck to the past. All of us have a limited time on this planet and we should make it count fully. Talking is easy, it is a fact. But through words, you can start to interiorize the best ways to recover from the departure of your significant other.
There are several ways that you can work out through the pain and start to move on. Writing about your feelings, allowing yourself to grieve and being cautious about rebound relationships. Keep in mind that a breakup requires time and patience to get through. When time is mentioned, it is not mentioned the length of your recovery. For some people it is easier to forget, others might take more time.
Keep your distance
Many times, the recent broke up couple decided to stay close and remain friends. Don’t. Break away completely from each other after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family, no phone calls, no texts, no Instagram, no Facebook. You don’t have to stop talking forever but it is advisable to break contact while you don’t overcome the other person. If he/she tries to convince you the otherwise, ask yourself what the point would be.
If you are reliving the past by seeing the person, it is not hard to get caught up in the moment and it will be harder to let it go again. In a situation, you need to keep contact because of practical reasons, like moving out, signing papers, etc., try to keep it to its limits. Only meet when absolutely necessary and keep it short and fast.
(Re)Organize your space
A breakup should mean a new beginning. At least, you should face it this way. Therefore, cleaning and organizing your personal space will make you feel refreshed and prepared for new things to come. Besides, it is important to clean his/her things out of your home. You don’t want to be triggered by any object.
Thus, lean all up and don’t have a mess in your space. It is also scientifically proved that a tidy place reduces your stress level. Get some new decorations, clean up the icons from the computer desktop, buy some candles to bring new aromas to your comfort zone and renew all the pictures from your frames.
Remove all the memory triggers
All the kind of things will make you remember him/her. In the beginning, you feel like the person is everywhere you go, everywhere you smell, everywhere you touch. It will be a literal pain to feel like you are being followed by the person you are separated from. Songs, smells, places, food… an endless list of things that will make you bite your tongue and give you that chest and stomach feeling you are trying to get away from.
Clear your space from all the triggers. If there are things you really want to keep, it is ok. Don’t push yourself to throw it away. However, take it away from your site for some time. Allow yourself, more than anything, to feel and do what is right for you. Not everyone deals with breakups the same way, so don’t be tough on you.
Get out and do things
After the end of a relationship, give yourself time to stay at home alone. Nevertheless, make sure you will be back to the world and leave the worst enemy for your mental state: the four walls. Get out of the house at your time, make plans with friends, have fun. Start or keep on doing that amazing hobby you love.
Go to your favorite coffee shop, to the cinema, go for a walk at the beach or the mountains, horse riding, cycling, swimming: you choose. Continue to take care of yourself. Don’t eat junk food, keep on eating healthy, do some sports and make all the efforts to sleep well.
Beware of rebound relationships
It is very usual for people to go quickly to a new relationship after a breakup. This kind of relationship can be so-called rebound relationship. Rebounding may be common but notice that some relationships that start after a breakup might actually be real and successful. However, all the caution is good. When you enter a new relationship after a breakup, you may be masking your negative emotions with the excitement of having someone new in your life. If that new relationship and bound doesn’t work out, you may have to deal with two breakups at once. Does this look fair to you? Consider remaining single and taking your time until you had fully processed your emotions and gotten over the breakup.
Author: Ines Marinho