Although 50 Shades of Grey is best known for its kinky content, this “mommy porn” novel need not be reserved for women only. Surprisingly, men can learn a great deal about love, life, and of course – sex.
In my previous article, I wrote about my older sister’s obsession with 50 Shades of Grey. During the rare moments when she wasn’t found reading the novel, my sister would constantly be talking about the sizzling page-turner to anyone who would listen.
Even over the dinner table, she couldn’t stop herself from raving about the sexual adventures of Anastasia Steele. As my sister recounted each expensive gift that Ms. Steele received from her benevolent lover, I considered how my brother-in-law could compete with his wife’s fictional crush.
While it would appear that the illustrious business magnate, Christian Grey, has set the bar for men around the world – a recent study for Netmums.com suggests that males should consider Grey to be more idol than rival.
Researchers found women slept with their partners just once a week on average before reading the book, however, this number leapt to three times every week once they finished the erotica.
Although most males cannot offer the material items that billionaire Grey constantly bestows, any willing male can be of help with their partners’ newfound sexual desires thanks to the steamy novel.
The 50 Shades series has encouraged a more open discussion about BDSM (bondage, domination, submission, masochism) and subsequently has sparked a sexual revolution amongst readers.
Previously, one in eight couples used just one position each time they made love but now over 40 percent cram in five or more positions each time they have sex. Even the UK’s favorite sex position has changed.
It is now the “Reverse Cowgirl,” replacing the tamer “Doggy Style,” which couples favored before finishing X-rated romance.
“Fifty Shades is getting a lot of people thinking and talking more openly about sex, sexuality, desire and interest,” explains Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Sex Made Easy. “It’s helping many women to feel comfortable enjoying something about sexual fantasy and arousal […] Not only is it okay to fantasize, not only is it okay to read really explicit info about sex, but right now, it’s the cool thing to do.”
For those men still in doubt – renowned Marriage therapist, CNN prime news regular contributor, and 50 Shades of Greyreader Dr. Paul Hokemeyer (PhD, JD) offers this Christian Grey inspired advice to men:
1.Women need to feel valued: Men often take their female partners for granted. This is especially true when the couple has been together for a while. Men need to stay attentive to the details of their partner’s lives and consciously value them as human beings.
2. It’s okay for men to be vulnerable and sensitive: Women love men for their strengths and for their vulnerabilities. By sharing their emotional vulnerabilities, men will strengthen their romantic relationships.
3. Sex is an important communication tool in a relationship: Sex is not a mechanical act. It’s a way partners communicate their desires for and respect of one another.
4. Sex is a whole lot more than penetration: Women want romance. Know that the journey is more important than the destination. Slow down and enjoy the scenery along the way.
5.Intimacy demands trust: At the heart of romantic relationships is an intimacy that is borne of trust. Women must be able to trust their men. This requires their men to be trustworthy.