Talking about sex with a male partner can be difficult. Keep reading to find out how you can get them to open up and talk about any issues.
Men are funny about sex. When you’re in a relationship, it’s seemingly all they can think about. Even if they come back from a particularly long day at work, they’re falling asleep on the couch and complaining incessantly about feeling tired and sore; if you put sex on the table, they’re undoubtedly going to be fighting fit again.
But when it comes to actually talking about sex, suddenly, they have other interests!
Now, that’s not to say this is true of all men, and it isn’t an issue reserved for the male sex. But for the most part, when it comes to discussing your sex life and communicating any issues with your partner, the man is more likely to get a little insecure and nervous.
But if there are issues in a sexual relationship, then it’s essential that they are communicated. Although it’s not the only thing that matters for a couple, sex is a big part of what makes a relationship tick, so it has to be taken seriously if it is not quite up to scratch.
So how can you get your man to open up about sex? Below are three key ways to make the conversation comfortable, safe and conducive to a sex life that is just as good as it should be:
Open Up Their Issues For Them
Firstly, it’s important to note that men find it difficult to talk about their issues. According to recent statistics, far more women go to counselling and therapy than men, partly due to the stigma surrounding male emotions and the outdated precept that men should be “strong” or “unemotional”.
Erectile dysfunction, specifically, affects over 50% of men at some stage of their life. But if this is a problem, your partner likely knows about it but doesn’t communicate it. It’s important, therefore, to open up the topic for them and invite them to investigate solutions together.
Now, when considering solutions for erectile dysfunction, one option is the hydraulic penile implant. But who is the right patient for the hydraulic penile implant? Read on to learn more!
One solution that is growing in popularity – both for ED sufferers and men with low self-esteem – are penile fillers that increase both size and the strength of an erection. When you’re with your partner, it’s important to talk through solutions like this, as well as many others, and help ease them into the subject.
I, I, I – Not You, You, You
One of the reasons men don’t like discussing sex with their partners is that it can often come across as accusatory. Even if you don’t mean to accuse them of not performing well in the bedroom, if you start each sentence with “you” rather than “I”, it will feel like you’re directing the source of the issues at your partner rather than implicating both of you.
Even if you think the fault lies entirely at their door, it’s important not to communicate that and instead work together to solve the issues. You shouldn’t have to settle for bad sex, and neither should they, so you’re working on this together. It’s also important to remember that it’s unlikely they are solely at fault.
Both you and your partner are responsible for a good sexual experience. Stop thinking about what they are doing to give you an orgasm, and instead, start taking responsibility for your own pleasure. If you do this, then you will stop criticising the other person and feel far more liberated and in control.
If you’re preparing to talk to your partner about sex, it’s likely that you understand why sex is so important in a relationship. That makes it very easy to get nervous and simply communicate everything you think is wrong without any room for them to counter effectively. You need to remember that you’re opening up the floor rather than giving them a lecture.
Even if you’re not talking, it’s important to listen to what the other is saying. If you’re worried about how you’re coming across, you might be spending most of the time when you’re not talking, thinking about what you’re going to say next.
Make sure to park your emotional response and be curious. What are they saying? How are they feeling? If you take in their side of the conversation, it’s far more likely to flow naturally and be far more conducive to results. Remember, when you’re in bed together, it’s never a solo mission. So don’t let this conversation be a solo mission, either!