Can’t Relax at Xmas Because You Have to Do Everything? Here’s What to Do
Thousands of posts under TikTok searches “the stress of Christmas”, “Christmas worries”, and “why is Christmas so stressful”
As Christmas gets closer, everyone is getting excited for festive fun and relaxation. But when you’re in charge of planning everything and making it perfect for everyone else, the excitement can be overshadowed with resentment, and it can feel like taking on a second job.
The relaxation gap can start with the planning, with one person being left to do everything themselves, making the excitement of planning turn to stress. There are thousands of videos under the TikTok searches such as ‘the stress of Christmas’ and “why is Christmas so stressful’, and Google searches for ‘Christmas stress’ are up by 253% in the lead up to Christmas this year.
We worked with tavel expert Justin Chapman at Go2Africa to discuss how to bridge the relaxation gap and make sure you all get to enjoy your festive break.
TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL
Communication is key – the ‘relaxer’ might be blissfully unaware of the stress being the planner is causing you, and may be more than happy to help. Avoid accusatory language like “you never help”, explain how the uneven workload makes you feel.
Perhaps you feel like your efforts to plan the perfect Christmas aren’t appreciated, or you feel you won’t get to have any time to yourself because the parental responsibilities aren’t shared – it’s essential to talk about how you’re feeling in order to overcome the gap.
BE POSITIVE
Emphasise the positives of planning together, rather than one person planning alone. Aside from the shared workload, you’ll might discover more varied activities and experiences that the usual planner hadn’t thought of. Sharing the planning means they can be more invested in the plans because they’ve found things they want to do, rather than just being told what they’re doing.
DISCUSS EXPECATIONS & RESPONSIBILITIES
Once you’ve explained how you feel, you can discuss and set expectations together; a quick conversation can stop the resentment grower stronger with each task.
Decide how much responsibility each person should take, such as one person taking care of the food shopping while the other cooks, or sharing the load of the gift wrapping.
PLAN IN PERSON
Schedule time to get together and the travel plans, rather than trying to do everything via the family group chat. It’ll be easier to brainstorm ideas or discuss concerns, rather than sending suggestions that only one person in the group responds to and someone else in the group never gets rounds to replying. Seeing everyone get excited in person is contagious, and means everyone will want to be more involved in the planning – even on a video call, if you can’t all be in the same room!
BE FLEXIBLE, AND TRY SOME RELAXATION TECHNIQUES
One of the most frustrating things as the planner, is when the relaxer tries to change your plans at the last minute, or when something outside your control goes wrong, forcing you to abandon your carefully scheduled itinerary. Try some relaxation techniques, like breathing exercises, to stop yourself getting angry or upset, and try to embrace flexibility and spontaneity.