Top Strategies for a More Positive and Contended Life
Modern life can be tough. But the pressures we have to cope with can vary hugely. Some of us are pressured by deadlines. Some of us fall victim to social media’s ugly side. Some of us are hit harder than others by rising costs. Some of us are deeply affected by seemingly endless bad news. But whatever it is that takes the shine off our lives, we can do something about it.
Here are five evidence-based strategies to help you feel more positive and emotionally resilient. They work whether you’re dealing with anxiety, low mood, or just want to feel a bit more in control of your day-to-day life.
1. Change Your Posture
When people feel down or depressed, you can usually see it in their body. They slump, look down, breathe shallowly. But posture doesn’t just reflect your emotional state, it helps shape it.
Shifting your body can have a powerful psychological effect. Standing tall, opening up your chest, breathing deeply, or lifting your gaze can start to shift your internal state, even before your thoughts catch up.
This is where power posing comes in.
In a 2010 study by Carney, Cuddy, and Yap, participants who held open, expansive postures for just two minutes reported feeling more confident and in control. A separate study in Health Psychology showed that sitting upright led to improved mood and lower levels of self-reported helplessness compared to slumped posture, especially under stress.
So before you try to think your way out of a low state, try moving your body into a different one.
2. Take Your Body Outdoors
Physical activity helps reduce anxiety and boost mood by shifting your physiology and releasing natural feel-good chemicals like endorphins. You don’t need to run marathons or join a gym. Just move.
But the key is—if you can—do it outside. Being in nature lowers stress hormones and calms the nervous system. A 2015 study led by Gregory Bratman at Stanford University found that participants who walked for 90 minutes in a natural setting showed decreased activity in the subgenual prefrontal cortex – a brain region associated with rumination, which is linked to depression. In contrast, those who walked in urban environments did not experience these benefits.
It doesn’t have to be intense. A short walk (including with a pet or loved one), a light round of golf, or simply sitting in a garden can help. For those with mobility issues, even getting fresh air on a balcony or moving gently outside makes a difference.
Movement resets your system. Nature soothes your brain. Combine the two, and you’ve got one of the simplest, most reliable ways to start feeling better.
3. Support Your Mind
You can’t expect your mind to work properly if your body is running on empty.
While your diet might not be the root cause of your stress or anxiety, it absolutely affects how intense those feelings are and how well you can deal with them. We all know that large amounts of processed food, sugar, caffeine and alcohol can leave us feeling depleted, jittery or flat. But this isn’t just common sense; research backs it up. A 2023 study published in JAMA Network Open found that a higher intake of ultra-processed food was associated with a significantly increased risk of developing depression.
Sleep plays a part too. Poor diet often leads to poor sleep, and without good sleep, your emotional regulation tanks. Research from UC Berkeley found that just one sleepless night can cause anxiety levels to spike by up to 30%.
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about paying attention. What are you putting into your body? Is it helping or making things harder?
Small changes can make a big difference. Swap one coffee for water. Add more colour to your plate. Cut back on sugar if you’re feeling irritable or wired. It’s not about restriction – it’s about creating the right environment for your brain to thrive.
4. Shift the Frequency of Your Mind
When you’re in a negative emotional state—anxious, overwhelmed, or just flat—your brain tends to tune in to that same emotional frequency. It starts recalling every moment that matches – every past mistake, every bad conversation, every reason to feel worse. For example, you have an argument with your partner and suddenly your brain queues up every disagreement you’ve ever had. It’s like flicking through a playlist you didn’t ask for, but all the tracks are on the same wavelength.
Your brain also has access to every positive state you’ve ever experienced. It’s just not currently tuned into them. That’s where anchoring comes in.
Anchoring is a simple but powerful process where you take a positive emotional state—confidence, calm, joy—and link it to a physical trigger. So, when you need to feel better, you can fire the anchor and shift state instantly. You’re not faking it. You’re just accessing a part of your brain that already knows how to feel differently.
This isn’t just theory – it’s fact. It’s the same principle behind Pavlov’s dogs: associate a stimulus with an emotional response, and eventually the stimulus brings the emotion on its own.
A 2008 study published in Chemical Senses demonstrated this clearly. Students who experienced success while exposed to a specific scent later performed better when exposed to that same scent again. Their nervous system had made the link.
Another study in 2024 found that when learners were taught to associate a positive emotion with a physical gesture, it improved their motivation and focus — especially under pressure. The idea that you can condition your brain into a better state is not hypothetical. It’s measurable.
Here’s how to do it:
1. Think of a time you felt amazing. Maybe you couldn’t stop laughing, or you felt proud, powerful, or deeply connected to someone.
2. Step into that memory. See it, hear it, feel it. Let the emotion build in your body.
3. As it peaks, anchor it. Press your thumb and finger together. Tap your chest. Squeeze your wrist. Keep it simple.
4. Repeat with other memories. Stack joy, love, calm, confidence – all onto the same gesture.
5. Use the anchor when you need it. Feeling anxious? Low? Disconnected? Fire the anchor and let your nervous system remember how to feel different.
This is a great shortcut for feeling better. So, whenever you find yourself starting to spiral or sink into a low state, use your anchor — and mentally switch the dial. Change the channel from the negative loop to a more upbeat frequency.
5. Create a Supportive Environment
If you want to feel better, one of the first places to look is your environment. And I mean both the space around you and what’s going on inside your head.
Start with your surroundings. Is your space cluttered, noisy, or just a bit chaotic? That might be adding to your stress. Even small changes—clearing a desk, softening the lighting, or creating a calming corner—can make a difference. You don’t have to turn your house into a spa, but you do want to feel like your environment supports you, not drains you.
Then it’s about creating daily rituals that help steady your mind. These don’t need to be complicated. Yoga and mindfulness are great but so is taking a few minutes to breathe deeply. Try breathing in for four, holding for four, breathing out for four, and holding again. Do that for a couple of minutes and you’ll notice a shift. It tells your nervous system you’re safe.
Journaling can also help; try just jotting down your thoughts, even for five minutes in the morning or before bed. Add a bit of routine where you can. That might mean reducing screen time in the evening, stepping outside for a walk, or having a proper wind-down at night.
Also, check what you’re feeding your mind. If the first and last thing you do each day is scroll through bad news or compare yourself on social media, that’s going to shape your mood. A 2018 study from the University of Pennsylvania found that cutting back on social media reduced both anxiety and depression. It’s not about cutting it out entirely – just be aware of what you’re tuning into.
If you want more tools like these, I share many of them in my book Face Your Fears: 7 Steps to Conquering Phobias and Anxiety – along with the techniques I’ve used over the years to help thousands of people create lasting change.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Christopher Paul Jones is a leading Harley Street phobia expert and author of ‘Face your Fears – 7 steps to conquering phobias and anxiety’. Having overcome his own phobias, and conducted 20+ years of research across Europe, North America and Asia, Christopher has developed an integrated approach combining mainstream psychology with cutting edge techniques: The Integrated Change System™.
The system aims to change the mind’s danger response and leave people free and happy to enjoy things they once found terrifying. A fear, anxiety or phobia can be cured in as little as a session. Christopher’s clients come from all over the world and include Hollywood actors and Oscar nominees, models, musicians, presenters and celebrities.