Are You Over Your Ex? A Relationship Expert Shares 3 Questions to Find Out
Relationship expert reveals the three questions to ask yourself if you are debating whether to keep or delete
From cute holiday pictures to couple selfies, our smartphone cameras capture the highs and lows of our relationships. This also means our camera rolls are often left littered with evidence of past relationships. Leaving the question, should you delete them?
One TikTok video on the topic posted by @meangirlpod gained over 155.9K views and 3.3K likes after sharing a “90/10 rule”, where they recommend deleting 90% of images of exes from social profiles and keeping 10%. Viewers took to the comments to share their opinions, one commenter said, “after a breakup you delete them all, clean slate”, while another with an opposing view said, “I delete nothing. It’s part of my past and deleting all that takes too much energy”.
As a part of their Digital Declutter study, which uncovered interesting insights on the topic, the experts at Compare and Recycle spoke exclusively to dating and relationship coach Kate Mansfield. They discussed when and why we should delete pictures of our exes from our phones and the impact of our past relationships on our present.
1 in 10 Brits admit to keeping photos of their ex on their phone
Compare and Recycle surveyed over 2,000 Brits, discovering their opinion on this controversial topic:
- Just 24% of Brits have opted to actively delete pictures with their ex-partners
- 1 in 10 (11%) admitted to knowing that they still have photos of their ex-partner on their phone, even though it may upset their partner
- Over half (52%) of Brits would be upset if their current or potential partner kept photos of ex-partners on their phone
- Just a quarter (25%) of Brits “don’t mind” if their current or potential partner keeps pictures of their ex on their phone
This new study suggests that many Brits’ phone habits could spell relationship disaster if they don’t declutter their camera roll.
Relationship expert reveals when you should get rid of your ex’s pics
Speaking exclusively with Compare and Recycle, dating and relationship coach Kate Mansfield said that the depth of the issue varies from case to case: “There’s no one-size-fits-all rule, but context matters. If it’s just an old photo buried in your camera roll that you never look at, that’s different from having a folder of cute couple pics you’re revisiting regularly.”
When asked how often she sees this situation cause issues within relationships in her line of work, Kate said, “Pretty often, actually. It’s one of those issues that seems small on the surface but taps into deeper stuff – trust, insecurity, boundaries. It comes up more than people expect, especially early in a relationship or during transitions like moving in together.”
Kate explained how the situation can be easily escalated if not handled correctly, “Not necessarily because of the pictures themselves, but because of how it’s handled. When someone feels dismissed or their concerns are minimised, resentment can build. On the flip side, when the person keeping the photos feels attacked or shamed, they can shut down emotionally. It’s usually the communication around it, not the photos, that causes the real damage.”
Still unsure whether to keep or delete? Relationship expert says, “ask yourself these three questions”
1. “Do these images bring back happy memories, sad ones, or am I indifferent? That tells you a lot about your emotional attachment.”
2. “If my partner saw these pictures, would I feel the need to explain or justify them? That’s a gut check on transparency.”
3. “Am I holding on because I’m not fully over that chapter, or just because I haven’t thought to delete them? Intent matters more than the action.”