A lot of things get dumped in life. Flat-pack furniture. Outta juice AA batteries. And sometimes, you.
Getting dumped often comes as a surprise and like stubbing your toe, we often feel pretty stupid for letting ourselves get hurt in the first place. But if you knew you were about to get dumped – if there was a way to spot all the red flags – is there something you could do to stop and negotiate it?
Top Life and Business Strategist Michael Cloonan knows the importance of healthy relationships. Here are his five warning signs that your partner is about to dump you (and you’re about to get into a relationship with your Deliveroo guy):
They’re off social media – or at least, to you. A modern red-alert sign is that your partner has deleted the digital scrapbook or blocked you completely. Blocking a partner is an easy way to begin picturing life without them; to gain a sense of individuality that they feel may have been lost. In-between all the Instagram shots of bad food and low-resolution sunsets, there used to be photos of you as a couple – now they have been deleted (removing what are soon-to-be painful memories).
They’re moody – life can sometimes stick us with a case of the mean reds, but at other times, a partner being upset and irritable can be a sign they’re considering a break-up. Moodiness leads to them withdrawing from you and being unable to talk. If you feel like you can’t do anything to help, you may need to ask what’s going on.
They’re not available – if they start to pick-up new classes at the gym, overload themselves with projects at work, or simply put, are rarely at home and spending time with you, be wary. Screening becomes the new routine as they become increasingly difficult to pin-down. Sometimes, when we can’t face a situation like breaking-up with our partner, ghosting is an easier (but more destructive) solution.
They’ve stopped making future plans – it could be the big stuff: discussions of marriage, babies, or owing a home. It could be small: booking a reservation at that new pop-up restaurant, buying tickets to a concert, or grabbing a coffee to catch-up. With a partner pulling away and not making as much contact time, take initiative and sit down with them. They likely have emotions whirring in their heads, so encouraging them to open up is key.
They’re less intimate – if your partner is debating dumping you, the process will see them treat you more as a friend than a lover. If your sex life grows sparser, and they treat it more as a chore or duty than a moment of intimacy, or conversely, you have more sex than hanging out, be cautious.