While some men may cherish and respect a woman who’s at the top of her game, many are downright intimated. And, most unfortunately, women who are more successful than their husbands are also more likely to get divorced from them, according to a paper published by the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. (We can only assume that this is due, at least in part, to the husband’s unsupportive attitude.)
How can you tell if the person you’re seeing is less than enthused by your ability to kick ass? Here are five signs that he’s downright daunted by your brilliance:
1. He tries to one-up you.
You come home with a huge smile on your face for getting a raise you deserved. But when you tell your partner about your accomplishment, he doesn’t even seem to hear you. No, he’s too busy telling you about the major deal he secured at his job, or worse, he’s trying to outdo your success by talking about some bonus he got years ago. (Cue the side-eye.)
2. He makes not-so-sweet digs about you being his sugar mamma.
A guy who’s intimidated by you will try to put you down a few pegs—and he might do it by being passive aggressive. While calling you his “sugar mamma” might be cute at first, you’ll soon realise that he’s not doing it endearingly—but to try to overcompensate for his discomfort with your success.
3. He takes you on a fancy date and pushes the check your way—as a “joke.”
Making light of a situation that makes him uncomfortable could be a good way to deal and get over it. But saying “you got this” when he asked you out is totally childish.
4. He downplays your victories—and throws them in your face.
That promotion you just got? No big deal, he says. Since, after all, he’s up for a promotion too. Not only will a guy who’s intimidated by you make your success seem not as awesome, he may even hold them against you. Your Ivy League degree will become the reason you’re so “uptight” and the corner office you just secured will prove that you’re a “snob.” Not cool.
5. He complains that you work too much.
If you’re making some serious dough, you probably have to spend some time at the office—not to mention that you’ll likely have some extra work responsibilities like going on business trips, attending conferences, doing networking events, and so on. A guy who’s not cool with you being on top will constantly ask you to say no to these commitments and try to make you feel bad for logging time at the office after-hours.