Got a Crazy Ex That is Stalking You? This is How to Cope

Got a crazy ex that is stalking you? This is how to cope

Relationships can be hard work, no matter the time of year. But when it comes to break ups during the holiday season (oh hel-lo boxed wine!) it can make a rough period feel unbearable. Blame the merry couples in Hyde Park and the mistletoe at the holiday party. However, unbearable can very quickly turn in to unpleasant, cruel and threatening when an ex don’t want to believe the relationship is over and has his own, significant way of wanting to prove it. Speaking from own experiences, I have had an obsessive ex standing outside my apartment literally screaming ‘I’m sorry!’ after I decided not to answer one of his 23647 phone calls. Let’s just say he had forgotten my birthday….yet again. We had been together for 4 years.

Yep, one of the most unpleasant things one can experience in a relationship is stalking, and we are not talking about Instagram stalking here, we’re talking obsessive outside your door crying and screaming kinda behaviour. Jump4love.com, Ukraine dating site, decided it’s about time to talk about the issue more in detail.

In simple terms, stalking is the act or an instance of harassing another human being, often threatening and in an illegal manner. However, some relationship stalkers do not want to make you feel anxious and nervous at all, they just cannot get over the fact that it’s over and are not yet used to leaving without you. He might call and message you numerous times a day, asking for you to come and meet him and won’t listen to any excuses. Girls can be marvelously vindictive, boys are unbelievably persistent; though, such things are annoying, for sure, but if a person, in the end stops walking around and drops out of your life – the game has ended.

Although, if a person does not act that smart and steady, what would happen next? Here is another plot.

You broke up few weeks ago; your partner was trying to pick up the pieces of what had been the chemistry between the two of you. You are not interested because he forgot your birthday again and you caught him cheating… legitimate reasons, but your ex thinks differently. Then you accidentally meet your ex a few blocks near your apartment. Just an occasional and surprising thing, nothing special. Except for… you then meet your ex again, outside the café you used to visit together on Saturdays. Moreover, near the cooperate building you work in. He just wants to talk;‘to look you in the eye and ask again – is everything really over between us? He is missing you-terribly. For some reason, the first weeks of these accidental meetings do not make you feel stalked and scared, maybe it even entertains you? Then after a few months it starts to become pretty annoying; you may have moved on by now and walking together, hand-holding, with a new cute date, when you suddenly feel the presence of your ex- even if there are no real signs. Later on, every flickering shadow reminds you that your ex is somewhere over there, behind the curtain or in the back of the restaurant, by the bathrooms, just waiting for you to appear. The worst thing about this situation is that you might start questioning yourself, wondering whether you are going insane? Don’t! Instead, talk to him, and let him know that this whole situation is in fact making you very uncomfortable. Hopefully he will understand and disappear off your radar. Also, don’t be afraid to ask your relatives and friends for an advice. The best way may even be to contact the police if the harassment doesn’t stop. Good luck!

Written by: Olia Grin